Fantasy baseball picks

Excerpted from Stephan Host’s April 2nd blog entry:
Greetings minions! Baseball season has quickly sprung upon us. Alas! Tis the time I grant you my fantasy draft picks. Heed my magnificent choices:
Outfielders – Known for their swiftness and agility, unicorns bred by Maltyreo the Magnificent are your best bet. If need be, relegate a hobgoblin to right field.
Catcher – I would recommend a stalwart wood gnome of the Dranglance class, NOT a mountainous and/or river gnome! One would hate to lose moral points due to the foolishness characteristic of far too many of these tenacious gnomes.
Infielders – Yes, although crude, a small clan of orcs should play baseball accordingly. Their jolty movements and keen eyesight are most suitable indeed. (Note: I would recommend equipping a fire lance to your hot bar – in case of orc revolt).
Pitchers – Archers will be your most accurate fantasy breed. Undead, elves, goblinoids, and halflings will all suffice. Beware of Glemondrogryl’s fiendish sorceries!!!!1!
Remember, while atop the baseball diamond… Argh! That vile humanoid known as my mother beckons me to dinner. Take my wisdom and may it guide your fantasy baseball horde!